


Det. Carisi: Clueless Idiot or Master Genius?

by Abitfairytailforme



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Carisi is sneaky, Crushes, F/M, I call 'em idiots 'cause..., Idiots in Love, Pining, Prompt Fic, Read them please, There are notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-30 11:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10875411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abitfairytailforme/pseuds/Abitfairytailforme
Summary: "He needed to do something about this fucking crush. Because, honestly, it was driving him, and, if he was being truly honest, everybody around him too, crazy. The only question was, how the hell was he supposed to do this?"Basically Carisi and Barba fight a lot and drive the squad insane. The cause? Olivia Benson, of course! Read it to find out what happens!





	Det. Carisi: Clueless Idiot or Master Genius?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Armitage_11](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Armitage_11/gifts).



> Okay, I got this prompt, right? And it was for my A Collection of Barson fics, but I liked it a lot and thought it'd be complicated, so I made it its own fic! 
> 
> Prompt: can you do one where Carisi tells Barba that he has a little crush on Olivia and Barba confronts him and gets all jealous, and they fight with each other and don't speak in the squad or they just speak and start to fight and Olivia asks them what is going on and they eventually tell her(? You can end it however you want
> 
> I took the ending how I wanted to to heart. I apologize for any grammar errors, it is truly horrible. 
> 
> Gifting it to Armitage_11 because they prompted it!

It had been months, maybe years. Carisi didn't even know, but he did know this: He needed to do something about this fucking crush. Because, honestly, it was driving him, and everybody around him too, crazy. The only question was, how the hell was he supposed to do this? 

~~~

Barba found out about it the night they were working together on a case. He hadn't wanted Carisi to shadow him. He was too earnest, although that did make him try harder and study harder, but he couldn't slow down sometimes. It was always full pace with him and Barba liked to go a little slower. He liked to sip coffee and maybe pace the room as he thought out every aspect of a case. Carisi was the polar opposite, mind sloppy and at a million miles a minute. But Carisi had been begging, and Barba had been successfully shooting him down till Liv came 'round and told him that he should let Carisi shadow him. Well, that sold Carisi's case and two minutes later he was regretting his choice, not even quite sure why he'd made it in the first place. 

"Hey, Counselor, you want some dinner?" Carisi asked, looking up. Barba huffed a sigh because it had been the first 5 uninterrupted minutes since they started working two hours ago. 

"Why don't you order something? Or go down the street, there's a great Chinese restaurant there, does quick to go." Barba suggests, not really hungry but would rather the man went away already. Carisi, thankfully, smiled and jumped up, after _insisting_ he gets a described order from Barba, and went to get the food. "Thank God." Barba muttered and worked for a solid 20 minutes before Carisi returned. Barba kinda wished that the reliable Chinese restaurant was a little slower. They took a break in their work, although Barba would argue they hadn't really worked yet, to eat. Barba even busted out some alcohol - scotch for him and some beer he had Carisi bring at the start of his shadowing claiming Carisi would "need it" - from his bottom left cabinet. 

"Can I tell you something, Counselor?" 

"Will you listen if I say no?" Carisi stares at him for a second, blinks, then grins like an idiot.

"So I kinda have this giant crush on my Lieu." Barba chokes on his bite, coughing loudly, and Carisi immediately looks panicked, on the edge of his seat as if ready to administer the Heimlich at any moment. Barba coughs a few more times, takes a sip of his scotch, and recovers neatly. "Guess that wasn't a great thing to say. You started chocking."

"Carisi, it's not chocking if I can cough, you should know that." Barba says, still snarky, and takes another bite of his dinner.

"So, about what I said..." Barba, somehow, manages to at least get this bite down neatly. 

"If I chocked at it the first time, why would saying _again_ while I'm eating be a good idea?" Barba asks.

"I really meant it." Carisi whispers, not really responding to Barba's snark. 

"Why? She's nearly a decade and a half older than you, like I am." Barba asks, taking a sip of his scotch and trying to stay cool. He realizes, as Carisi starts to ramble, that if he were truly normal, he wouldn't care and tell Carisi to get back to work. He engaged so therefore he cares.  _Why?_ Barba silently asks.

"Well, I know, but I think she's so smart and strong and kind. It's easy to imagine why I formed a crush on her."

"Why would you tell me?" Barba asks.

"I thought you could give me some advice seeing how you're going through it yourself." It's Barba's turn to blink, confused. What did he mean by it? That he had a crush on Olivia, because, well, yeah. He did like her, but as friends. And sure, they spent lots of time together, and they got coffee. He'd introduced her to his mother... and his mother loved Olivia, wanted to hear from her all the time. His mother was constantly asking if they were together yet. And Olivia had helped him get through it all... he told her everything.  _Oh my God! I love Olivia._ Barba thinks, the revelation finally catching up with him. "Hey, Counselor, you okay?" Carisi's voice cuts in, another annoying thing added to the really annoying revelation he just figured out. 

"Don't speak to me, Carisi." Barba growls.  _Where did that come from? Jealousy, I'm not the jealous type._ Yet here he was, growling at Carisi because, while, yes, he was annoying, he never growled at the man. 

"Okay." Carisi says, eyes widening, realizing that Barba was jealous. They work in silence for the rest of the night and Carisi leaves early.

~~~

It was probably the first moment Carisi had walked into the room that Barba knew he had instant dislike of the man. Eager as a puppy, just about as hairy above the lip as one too. Barba was, despite what he lead others to believe, enthralled when he finally shaved it off. But there was something about the man that was bothering him more than usual lately, something he'd admitted to Barba himself: his attention toward Olivia. 

Too many coffees, too many little smiles sent that way, too many impressed looks written all over his features. Barba now could only see the little telltale signs he'd ignored before. And boy they were noticeable, since they were coming from Carisi. However, it was unprofessional, for some unknown reason, to go up to a collegue and demand an explanation for having a crush, especially when Carisi had already given him one. So Barba watched from afar as Carisi continued to bring in coffees to Olivia - that was  _his_ territory, dammit! - send little smiles, and looked impressed by the impressive brunette. 

If Barba was to be truly open, to him and others, he'd probably admit that he only cared because he liked Olivia too. But he was ready to be that open yet, especially as had been, until a week ago, content with convincing himself he did not have a crush on the brunette, that he had not been pining over her for three years like an idiot and not saying a damn thing. He was normally so confident, the most confident in the room, but whenever Olivia Benson walked in, that all changed. So he convinced himself, subconsciously of course, that he didn't like the Lieutenant. And now he was dealing with all these overworked feelings and jealousy bubbling over. Barba wasn't used to it. He was used to being the stone cold, not many feelings, sassy lawyer, not the one that gets upset at seeing Carisi with more than one coffee. 

The only thing going for the frustrated man was the fact that the case Carisi was shadowing had ended two days after Carisi's confession and he didn't see the detective unless it was in the squad room. But that didn't stop them from fighting as frequently as they saw each other.

"Do you think I could shado-"

"No, Carisi! This last one was enough."

"My exam's in three weeks, do" Barba did something he never did. He walked away.

There were times when they were stone quiet to each other, too. Not uttering a word, just glaring across the room. And the squad's noticed it too, not mentioning it to them, but they definitely noticed and gossiped to each other about it.

"Why do you think they're not talking to each other?" Rollins asks Fin, staring at the two men working quietly on opposite sides of the room and not even glancing at each other despite the fact that they were working on the same thing. Fin looks back and forth and shrugs. 

"Who knows, those two always were weird."

"Do you think they actually were dating and they broke up."  It had been a kind of joking theory between the two of them that Carisi and Barba were dating, but neither of them actually believed it.

"I dunno, it could be..." Fin says, watching them as Olivia walks by and both their eyes follow her till she's in her room, then they look at each other with a look of... something. Maybe a mix of disdain and resentment before going back to a stone quiet work. 

"Weird." Whispers Amanda. They keep discussing it till Olivia comes out of her office and shouts at them, "Stop gossiping you two and actually do some work!" They answer with a, 'Yes Lieu,' then go back to gossiping. Neither of them come up with definitive answers, however. 

The only person who seemed to be oblivious to the whole situation was the one who was causing it in the first place. Well, not until they basically directly said it to her and she remembered all the little instances in the past two weeks. It was silly, how Olivia came to realize that they were fighting. They'd been working on a case and they needed a warrant. They were all in the squad room and Olivia was handing out jobs.

"Carisi, brief Barba on the details." Olivia ordered.

"I'd rather not, Lieu, if possible." Olivia's eyebrows flew up in shock as Carisi had never disobeyed or denied a request. 

"I would too, Olivia." Barba says in measured breathes, staring at the detective. Olivia then turns to him in shock because she knew he wasn't one to act this way. In fact, the whole squad was staring at the two men who were too busy staring each other down to care. 

"Is everything alright?" Olivia asks, then regrets the question. "You know what? Never mind, Rollins, do you mind?"

"Not at all." She said, watching as Barba nodded and walked out of the room, with one last glare at Carisi, assuming she'd follow him. 

Well, Olivia put the pieces together and decided that she couldn't have two of her greatest team members fighting, especially when they'd just started to get along in the first place. They were, again, working in the squad room and not saying a thing to each other. 

"You two!" She says to them, making it clear she was talking to Carisi and Barba and not Fin and Rollins, or the "gossip twins" as Olivia'd recently nicknamed them. "My office,  _Now!"_ And without confermation that they'll follow, she walks into her office and waits for them. Everyone in the squad stares at each other for a few moments before Barba snaps his binds closed and follows the Lieu, Carisi quick to his heels.

"Is everything alright, Olivia?" Barba asks once they've closed the door and blinds. 

"No." Olivia says, motioning for them to sit. They, hesitantly follow, and Olivia doesn't sit, rather using the height as an advantage. "I want to know what has split the two of you apart." They look at each other. "Farther than usual." 

"I have no id-"

"Oh don't try to tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. I was okay with you guys avoiding each other, but you're not getting work done and this squad is already too small to handle it, so what is going on!?" She's raised her voice to yelling level, her hands slammed down on the desk staring down at the two of them. They exchange glances again, totally helpless as to what to tell her. 

"Well, you see... It's just...Um." Barba's stuttering and using filler words, something he, as a lawyer, never does. Carisi finally puts him out of his misery by putting him in deeper misery.

"You." He says simply.

"What about me?" Carisi laughs slightly, hand rubbing the back of his neck and not looking at her as he answers.

"We kinda have been fighting over you." She looks kinda stunned as she finally gets it. That Carisi has been kinda crushing on her lately and that Barba has always been crushing over her. 

"And did neither of you think about the fact that I am neither of yours to fight over?" She asks, staring them down. "Barba, you've had a crush on me forever and Carisi, I don't know when, how, or why it started, but I damn well know that you had to tell this man, didn't you?" Carisi nods sheepishly. "You're both idiots!" She proclaims. "You both could've just asked me out and I would have given you respective answers and put an end to this nonsense!" They look at each other, then at her. 

"Well, what are those respective answers?" Barba asks, finally, for the two of them. 

"Do you really want me to do this in front of both of you?" She asks, knowing that one of them is going to be hurt.

"Yes." They both answer at the same time because, even though they both know one of them is going to be hurt, they just want to know who it is. She nods, staring at them, not sure how to phrase it.

"I'll see you Friday night, Barba." She says, then goes to her door. "Get back to work, you two and I don't want any more fighting!" She opens the door and lets them out. They're both smiling. Both of them. Later, when Fin, Rollins, and Carisi go out for drinks, Fin and Rollins were asking what happened.

"We heard some of it." Rollins admits. They all knew how loud Olivia could get while she was lecturing. "Are we right in thinking that you both had crushes on Olivia?"

"Yeah, that's why we've been fighting."

"And she chose Barba? Tough break." Fin says, taking a sip of his beer.

"I don't know about that, Fin." Amanda says, looking at Carisi knowingly. "I kinda doubt the whole thing. Did you ever really have a crush on her?" Carisi doesn't answer, just smiles and takes another sip of his drink.


End file.
